Remi Tinubu: The Survivor Who Forgot— Her Complicity, and Betrayal

By Shiloh O. Akinyemi

This is not a measured response. This is not a carefully curated opinion piece meant to tiptoe around the harsh realities we live in. This is anger—anger born out of disappointment, frustration, and despair.

It is one thing for a country to fail its people. It is another for that country to repeatedly fail its women. Nigeria has a long, ugly history of looking the other way when women suffer abuse. And once again, we are witnessing a gross miscarriage of justice.

Remi Tinubu: A Betrayal of Her Own Past

There was a time when Remi Tinubu was not just the First Lady of Nigeria, but a woman who had personally experienced public abuse.

In 2016, she wrote a petition to the All Progressives Congress (APC), detailing how Senator Dino Melaye verbally assaulted her, used vulgar language, and even threatened her with rape and physical violence on the Senate floor during an executive session on July 12, when he said “I will beat you and impregnate you, and nothing will happen” 

In her own words:

“In a burst of apparent rage, Senator Melaye charged at me in what can only be seen as an effort to physically attack me. The attack was only prevented by some respectful senators who moved to impede his path or otherwise block him from approaching closer to me.”

She condemned his aggressive, misogynistic behavior and demanded disciplinary action:

“Unless Melaye is appropriately disciplined, he remains a danger to me and to the Senate at large. He has promised twice within one week to attack me.”

At the time, she framed his actions as an attack on all Nigerian women, emphasizing that gender discrimination should have no place in the country.

But now, I can’t help but wonder—what changed? Was Remi Tinubu only concerned because she was the one on the receiving end?

From Advocate to Enabler

On April 13, 2022, I wrote a piece titled Remi Tinubu, Bamise, and Osinachi: Will Nigerian Women Ever Be Safe? In it, I highlighted how this country consistently turns its back on women in distress.

So imagine the disappointment—no, the betrayal—when the same Remi Tinubu, who once fought against harassment in the Senate, chose to downplay its seriousness today.

Speaking to The People’s Gazette, she said:

“I know, with what is going on in the Senate, you may say, why am I not taking a position? I believe that the Senate is doing what is needful because that’s what it is. It is an inside place, and it’s a mature chamber. It’s a mature chamber, and it should be treated with respect. It’s an honour for you to be in that place alone.”

An honour?

An honour for a woman to sit in a chamber where she can be harassed and humiliated without consequences? Is that what she calls honour?

But she didn’t stop there. She continued:

“I was there for 12 years, even in my younger days, and I’m still trying to look young, but people compliment you all the time. Only that, women, raise yourself, don’t be in a position that men will be talking to you anyhow.”

Let’s Break That Down

1. The Skincare Advice Nobody Asked For

“I was there for 12 years, even in my younger days, and I’m still trying to look young, but people compliment you all the time.”

Wow. What a perfect moment for a skincare tip. I think the First Lady should go ahead and tell us what her daily routine contains—because apparently, looking young is the key to avoiding harassment.

Perhaps Senator Natasha is simply not using enough niacinamide. Maybe she also needs to add a good vitamin C serum to her list. After all, a glowing skin might just be the secret to warding off sexual predators, right?

2. Blaming Women for the Actions of Men

“Women, raise yourself, don’t be in a position that men will be talking to you anyhow.”

According to Remi Tinubu, the responsibility to avoid harassment lies with women.

Your Excellency, ma—did you fail to raise yourself when Dino Melaye harassed you? Was your experience a result of you not properly “raising” yourself?

This is the same exhausting rhetoric that blames women for the violence they face instead of holding perpetrators accountable. It is the same script used to silence victims, to make them second-guess their experiences, to gaslight them into believing that if they had just behaved, dressed, or spoken a certain way—maybe they wouldn’t have been harassed.

And it is coming from a woman who should know better.

The Real Issue

A sitting senator has been accused of sexual harassment, yet instead of taking immediate action, we are being fed excuses, justifications, and victim-blaming statements.

The accused still holds his position.

The accuser has been suspended.

And the Senate? Silent.

This is the Nigeria we are supposed to pledge allegiance to? A country where victims are punished while their abusers remain in power?

In what democracy does a parliament sit idly by while one of its own faces allegations of misconduct, yet continues to wield power unchallenged?

Where is the outrage? Where is the accountability?

We Demand Justice

Let it be known that we demand a proper investigation.

We demand that Akpabio be suspended until these allegations are thoroughly investigated.

We demand that the Nigerian Senate stop treating issues of sexual harassment like minor inconveniences.

We are tired.

Tired of watching the same cycle repeat itself.

Tired of seeing women blamed for their own harassment.

Tired of leaders who should be advocating for justice, instead choosing to protect power at the expense of truth.

Tomorrow, the world will mark International Women’s Day—a day meant to celebrate and uplift women, to reaffirm the fight for gender equality, and to call out systems of oppression.

Is this how Nigeria chooses to honour its women?

By allowing abusers to sit in power while their victims are cast aside?

By excusing harassment instead of condemning it?

Remi Tinubu should save whatever emotional speech she has planned for International Women’s Day. We do not want to hear words that mean nothing when her actions—or rather, her inaction—speak volumes.

She should understand the responsibility bestowed upon her, and right now, she is failing that responsibility.

She indeed needs to fix up. Because, as Gen Z would say, her speech wasn’t giving at all. And the women of Nigeria deserve better.

Enough is Enough!

If the First Lady will not stand for what is right, then we will.

If the Senate will not act with integrity, then we will hold them accountable.

Nigeria, do not look away. Do not let this be another forgotten scandal.

This is the moment to demand better.

To demand justice.

To demand change.

Because if we don’t, we become complicit in the very system that continues to fail us.

Shiloh O. Akinyemi fondly called ShillyPepper, is a writer, book reviewer, and social commentator who is passionate about literature, faith, and social justice. She curates book recommendations and literary discussions on The Book Chef, where she amplifies Christian fiction and thought-provoking narratives.

As a keen observer of societal issues, Shiloh uses her voice to challenge injustices and advocate for accountability. When she’s not writing, she’s either lost in a book, or exploring ways to foster meaningful conversations about faith and culture. She can be reached via akinshiloh1@gmail.com